In pursuit of Happiness...

One of the most significant aspects of our lives is the pursuit of what we think is happiness. We need happiness to survive like we need oxygen. But the problem is that we have forgotten to recognize what is true happiness. So even though we are seeking... seeking with all our energy and all our life... we are unable to find that transient thing that will make us happy. And even if we do find it for a moment, we are so afraid of it being snatched away that we don't even celebrate that happiness. In the end, we realize that nothing has made us profoundly happy. On a particularly depressing day, while having Chinese takeaway for dinner, I came across this line in a fortune cookie:

This struck a chord with me... so are we ultimately responsible for our own happiness? So many times when I have been angry or upset, I have ended up blaming others and blaming situations. Maybe it was time to retrospect about what I was doing wrong...

• Not enjoying happiness... The biggest mistake we do is not enjoying small moments of joy because we are too worried about what will happen in the future. If only we could accept that every moment... whether happy or sad... will pass, we could have stopped and cherished that time when we had an awesome ice-cream or the time when the dress we loved fitted us perfectly. Instead what we are doing is rushing in our minds... worrying about whether the ice-cream will lead to sore throat or the dress we bought will add to the bills. The best example is to look at a small baby... how rolling over and falling down makes him giggle with uncontrolled happiness. Sure, as adults we have huge responsibilities but would it not bring us happiness to just pause life and enjoy the moment we are in? Life is worrying, there are many things to think about... but when we only worry about the big things and don't enjoy the present, we are losing out on the essence of life.
• Chasing others' happiness... How many times have you felt sad when you looked at what someone else had and what you had paled in comparison? Many a times we go through life pursuing someone else's idea of happiness. We want a car because our neighbor has one, we need a house because our friend has one... how many decisions do we make because we covet what another person has? If only we paused and thought about what would really make us happy... we would find far lesser things to worry about. The truth is we don't know someone else's story or what they are going through... we only want the god things that they choose to portray to us. If we only knew about their hardships, we would not choose to seek what they have. The idea behind the line "Keeping  up with the Joneses" is exactly that... measuring your own needs and happiness by someone else's scales. Stop doing that and half your troubles would be over.
• Outsourcing happiness... Coming back to my fortune cookie and the profound lesson it was trying to convey that night... Create your own happiness! If you decide that you are going to be a happy person, you'll ultimately come up with ways to achieve that. If you decide that you're going to be unhappy, even winning a billion dollar lottery will not help (you might be a sad, rich person). This is because people are inherently conditioned to be a certain way and even though adversities or good fortunes may come their way, they will ultimately be what they want to be. So the question to ask yourself is... Do you want to be happy? If your answer is yes, then believe me, you'll go to any length to find that happiness. Otherwise, you'll always find ways to blame your environment for your misery. 

If you have made it to the end without getting tired of the philosophy... Then remember today is a great day to start being happy! 

Loss and being happy... (a poem)

There's a sadness in the winds today...
As if mourning the loss of someone dear...
And the sun refuses to shine bright...
Hides in the grey clouds... cries in fear...

I can't hear the birds... They have ceased to sing...
There is an unsettling sorrow in the air ...
A journey which has forgotten the end...
And a weary traveler seeks in despair...

Loss of childhood... loss of love...
Oh what have we gained instead...?
So much to have done... so much still left...
And the road's just getting lonely ahead...

When the magic has gone out from the world...
And so many goodbyes were yet to be said...
What is it that you'll remember forever..?
What is it that will make you afraid?

The wise man said live today...
For tomorrow is an illusion sure...
But we still spend a life in search of it...
And a life of not living we silently endure...

And oh if only you had learnt...
That life is a strange game we have to play...
Make every move... Take every chance...
'Coz today will soon be yesterday...

So cheer up and love and live this moment...
Until the sun sets on your days...
And if you're asked if you lived without regrets...
Your answer would be forever... 'Always'...

This poem is dedicated to Alan Rickman who brought to life one of my favorite characters... Professor Snape... The world indeed seems emptier today...

Kitchen tales... And a reluctant cook

What happens when a really bad cook has to start cooking on a daily basis? Chaos, some disastrous attempts and a whole lot of learning. When I was staying with room-mates in Hyderabad, I used to barely get by with some amateurish cooking until we finally gave up and hired a cook to save ourselves. Cut to February 2015... away from India (and along with any prospects of professional cooking help) and faced with having to provide meals at least two times a day not only for myself but also for another hapless soul. What followed was often badly cooked meals, rotis that were more like papads and salt that was sadly missing. Thankfully there were a lot of experienced (not to mention helpful) cooks among my friends here who gave me culinary lessons for which I would be ever grateful. Coupled with ever-dependent Google and the many many cooking blogs, I was finally able to better myself and come up with some dishes that I could be proud of. Luckily, Ashish never complains even if something is not cooked well and the best part is that he is willing to taste all my experiments! So this blog is not about recipes and self-praise, it is merely a collection of some of the dishes that have become favorites over the last year and some stories behind them.

Please forgive the photos... they were not taken with the purpose of being in a blog!

• Peas kochuri... This one is a favorite from my childhood and brings with it memories of home, my Mom and those times when food would magically appear on the table. It reminds me of rainy days which would get brightened up by a plateful of these "kochuris" accompanied by "cholar dal" and "adda". One day while I was feeling particularly homesick and reminiscing about those deliciously crunchy "kochuris" filled with a stuffing of green peas, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Since it was nighttime in India, I could not get my mom on the phone to tell me the recipe so I had to depend on the internet to find a recipe which I would be able to manage. My first attempt wasn't perfect but boy was I excited! The cherry on the cake was definitely the fact that Ashish, who was tasting this dish for the first time, absolutely loved it. Now he often makes special requests for it!
  If you want a go at it yourself, you can check it out here.

  

  Peas Kochuri...

• Kosha mangsho (Mutton curry)... For Bengalis who love mutton (goat meat), this is a hot favorite preparation of goat meat cooked in onion-ginger-garlic gravy with tomatoes, yogurt and spices cooked in mustard oil. It is understandably extremely rich and very possibly would send you into a meat-coma. Our favorite time of enjoying it is as a Saturday afternoon meal served with plain Basmati rice after which it is almost impossible to remain awake. In another of my childhood food memories, a version of this rich mutton curry used to be prepared in huge quantities on the day after Kali Puja as an offering and its delectable taste still lingers in my mouth. On that occasion, we would eat it with delicious sweet pulao and we would wait year-long just for this amazing dish. This curry is definitely not for those watching their weight... the taste of this dish also lies in the dripping golden mustard oil which is imperative to its taste.
  For those who would love a rich, spicy mutton curry, here is your recipe.

  

  Mutton Curry with Jeera Rice

• Shrimp fajitas... This one is from my adult life, more specifically from Ashish and my dates in Hyderabad at Chilis' where we would have these delicious sizzling shrimp fajitas. Now I have always been a fan of Mexican food because it is spicy and also because it it served with tasty guacamole and salsa! Florida with its amazing seafood and Mexican options is also a great place to try out fajitas. We had some nice ones at "Two Drunken Goats", a small restaurant by the lovely Riviera Beach. So finally I decided to try it out at home complete with the sides of guacamole and salsa and it has quickly become a favorite. Its also a great option which can be cooked fast and is not too heavy so I run to it when I'm too tired to cook an elaborate meal. Pair it with some chilled beer or a glass of wine and a lovely evening is guaranteed.
  Try this out if you are in a mood for some tasty Mexican.

  

  Fajitas with Guacamole & Salsa

• Pomfret curry... Every Bengali worth his salt is attached to his daily dose of fishes. In fact, fish is the main thing I was missing from home till I discovered the nearby market where I could get fresh fish. You might wonder why I chose Pomfret (known here as Pompano) over more authentic Bengali fishes. This is because Pomfret is the first fish I bought from that fish market and more importantly because Ashish, who has never liked eating fish, has actually started loving this! The way I enjoy making this is in a light tomato curry which does not overpower the taste of the fish. Also, it is delightful to see your non-Bengali husband struggle with fish-bones. I still help him out by separating the fish from its bones but now he is starting to enjoy chewing the bones and even asks for the head of the fish :)
  You can have a go at this simple but tasty dish here.

  

  Pomfret in light tomato gravy

• Cakes... From mains to dessert, we have indeed come a long way! Now I have an incredibly incurable sweet tooth and I love cakes and pastries. Though I had made cakes back in India, I mostly had help with them. The first few times I made cakes here, they did not turn out as well as expected (though I still licked the dish clean). I specifically mention cakes here because that is one thing I have practiced many many times during the last year and have finally got the measurements correct! The first cake I made was a marble cake for Ashish's birthday and it wasn't a very good result though I managed to salvage it a bit with some chocolate frosting. Thankfully I have gotten better over the last few times.
  For the marble cake, here is the recipe I use.

  

  First attempt at marble cake...

  My most recent attempt was a New Years' cake which I made using cake mix (yes I cheated) and it was delicious!

  

  Red Velvet cake for New Year...

  
  So here was my stories of some simple but tasty dishes I attempted over the last year. It was not professional cooking by any standards but in my book what makes a dish tasty are the memories attached to it. The taste of the food might fade over time but those memories and silly stories last forever.