Have you noticed the person slinking at the back of parties, clearly uncomfortable with the social situation they have been put in? Trying to engage, to be part of conversations when they would rather be sitting at home curled up with a good book or just chilling to some music away from the madding crowd. Welcome to the world of introverts. It is fascinating and at the same time, difficult to understand by anyone who has never been in that position.
Inside the mind of an introvert: As a lifelong introvert, I feel the need to talk about this subject sometimes. A lot of times, introverts are mistaken as rude, arrogant and aloof. Not unfairly because there are many moments in an introvert's life when she just wants to escape the dullness of mundane conversation into the much more captivating world of her thoughts. Its not because she doesn't like you and its not because she thinks she is better than you. Most of the time its because she needs to be with herself, recharging and just being with her thoughts. Casual conversation does not come easily to her, she would rather share a long, meaningful silence and leave feeling so much has been said. She is in no way anti-social, in fact there are days when she craves company as much as you do. And the right company can fascinate and engage her. But once she has had that bit of social interaction, she just wants to retreat into herself.
Why do I call introverts cursed? In the modern world of networking, they are at an instant disadvantage because they don't understand small talk. Not because they don't have anything meaningful to say (if only you could hear the conversations in their minds) but because it is an act of extreme effort for them. While being quiet can be misconstrued as aloofness, a lot of introverts just don't contribute to the conversation unless they have something meaningful to say. Another trait of introverts, that of wanting to be by themselves, is often perceived as rudeness. But understand, introverts just don't feel the constant need to be in a crowd. In fact the thought exhausts them. Its not rudeness, it is a deep need and if they are deprived of it, they become irritable. And of course, being lost in thoughts is not always seen kindly. But while they might seem lost, they could be building an alternate universe in their minds!
How do you deal with introverts? Its very simple, just let them be. If your partner is an introvert and you are an extrovert, there is no point in insisting that she accompany you to every party that you go to. She'll not enjoy it and neither would you. The best way to deal with situations like this is to realize that it is possible to be a couple and still enjoy different things at times. Of course, sometimes you would need to tread the middle path and so would she. But for the most part, introverts thrive when they have some part of the day alone with their thoughts. They don't need to be entertained, nor to be coaxed to join a conversation. What they need is for you to understand that what you perceive as rudeness, is merely a survival strategy.
Inside the mind of an introvert: As a lifelong introvert, I feel the need to talk about this subject sometimes. A lot of times, introverts are mistaken as rude, arrogant and aloof. Not unfairly because there are many moments in an introvert's life when she just wants to escape the dullness of mundane conversation into the much more captivating world of her thoughts. Its not because she doesn't like you and its not because she thinks she is better than you. Most of the time its because she needs to be with herself, recharging and just being with her thoughts. Casual conversation does not come easily to her, she would rather share a long, meaningful silence and leave feeling so much has been said. She is in no way anti-social, in fact there are days when she craves company as much as you do. And the right company can fascinate and engage her. But once she has had that bit of social interaction, she just wants to retreat into herself.
Why do I call introverts cursed? In the modern world of networking, they are at an instant disadvantage because they don't understand small talk. Not because they don't have anything meaningful to say (if only you could hear the conversations in their minds) but because it is an act of extreme effort for them. While being quiet can be misconstrued as aloofness, a lot of introverts just don't contribute to the conversation unless they have something meaningful to say. Another trait of introverts, that of wanting to be by themselves, is often perceived as rudeness. But understand, introverts just don't feel the constant need to be in a crowd. In fact the thought exhausts them. Its not rudeness, it is a deep need and if they are deprived of it, they become irritable. And of course, being lost in thoughts is not always seen kindly. But while they might seem lost, they could be building an alternate universe in their minds!
How do you deal with introverts? Its very simple, just let them be. If your partner is an introvert and you are an extrovert, there is no point in insisting that she accompany you to every party that you go to. She'll not enjoy it and neither would you. The best way to deal with situations like this is to realize that it is possible to be a couple and still enjoy different things at times. Of course, sometimes you would need to tread the middle path and so would she. But for the most part, introverts thrive when they have some part of the day alone with their thoughts. They don't need to be entertained, nor to be coaxed to join a conversation. What they need is for you to understand that what you perceive as rudeness, is merely a survival strategy.
