Yes yes I know! This lockdown has everyone and their aunt thinking that they have unleashed new or hidden talents. Let me assure you, I am not one of them. I have not rediscovered some dying passion or inculcated any new hobbies, in fact, I may be on the verge of forgetting some existing ones. Sadly, this writing will not contain any brilliant piece of art that I have produced or any spark of new skill that my toddler has learnt. We are very much rambling through this unusual situation that has brought the world down to its knees and trying to make through each day without having a melt down. I have to report though, I am guilty of more meltdowns than my toddler. There, how’s that for an achievement!
However, not everything is as bleak as it sounds. There are indeed some new and never before imagined skills that I have picked up (and baking banana bread is not one of them).
1. Spectacular Balancing Acts: This involves balancing your phone/AirPods with one hand (because you’re on a never ending conference call) while trying to get a kicking toddler who refuses to part with his toys into his seat and buckle him in. It also involves explaining why you were unable to un-mute yourself when you were asked a question (Tip: My toddler snatched away my phone and put it into his food is hilarious only once).
2. Vinyasa Pose: Nothing to do with the actual relaxing yoga pose. This one involves being in front of your laptop to look at a screen share, swivel right to feed your toddler, swivel left to feed yourself and somehow twist back to get food from the kitchen counter. I think I have almost forgotten how sitting in a comfy office chair feels like. On the bright side though, standing all day and running after a bundle of energy has to count as some form of exercise. Take that, you home gymming bunch of show offs!
3. Technology: I swear I have never used the mute button my phone as much as I have used it in the past 4 months. When you’re in a meeting and also in the middle of toilet-training your toddler, the mute feature is your best friend. And for the technology-challenged, also your worst enemy. I mean c’mon, it’s been 4 months, we really don’t need to hear you flush in the middle of a conference call. Add to that Teams calls, Skype calls, Zoom calls and what not, we have definitely upgraded our technology usage.
4. Online Shopping: While single people are saving due to not having to go out, I am developing a daily relationship with the Amazon delivery person. I mean who needs to go out when you can order new toys every day with the click of a button! (Tip: Let me tell you, no toy is going to stop your toddler from screaming right as you unmute yourself). And do I really need more home clothes? Who knows, it’s all become very blurry...
5. Catch and Throw: This is a very fun game which involves asking your toddler “Go to Mumma/Papa” and shouting “Your turn!”. The winner is the person who is better at convincing said toddler. After 4 months of working from home, we have both gotten very good at it though aforementioned toddler has figured out that it might be a ploy to get rid of him and refuses to budge.
6. Coding skills: This one is for the programmers. I mean, I have a lot of experience coding with a manager breathing down my neck asking for progress. But now I have a toddler jumping down my neck, pulling my hair out while I try to figure out why a single line of code in a 1000 line file threw an exception. Why, why do you think? And just when you figure it out, the toddler has also figured out the power button on the entire keyboard.
There, who said that we have learnt nothing in these last few months? I have definitely learnt to make the most of the situation, look at the rainbows in the storm clouds and enjoy the extra time that I have gotten to spend with my family.
That and also, let your toddler run around like a wound up crazy person all around the house so that he tires himself out. Otherwise, you are going to really regret it at bedtime... Yawn yawn, that’s all the time I got!
