The best part of life is that it constantly changes. Which means that no matter how bad it may seem today, it will change tomorrow. Which also means that we don't know whether it will change for the better or for worse. One of the things that makes life good or bad are the people we are surrounded with. Now we might argue that our happiness does not depend on other people but being a social animal, we cannot disregard the importance of society in our lives. Sometimes we will be surrounded by people who are good to us. Of course good does not mean that they need to praise us or give us gifts or even do anything for us. Good simply means that they bring positive energy to our lives. Sometimes, and sadly this has become more common, we will be surrounded by people who only bring negativity into our lives. In every phase of life, we will encounter these people. What changes is how we deal with them. Here are some rules I have made up from experience... not because I have been particularly successful in applying them but because it feels nice to think that you are in control ;)
- The wolves in sheep's clothing: They are at the top of the list because they are the most difficult to spot and therefore the most dangerous. They will be nice to you when they need and you will end up trusting them. But the minute your back is turned, they will be the Brutus in your life and because you are not Julius Caesar, you will not even realize that you have been stabbed. So you will go about your life not realizing that the person who is the sweetest to you is actually the one doing the most harm. The only way to deal with these people is to figure them out before they know all your secrets. And if you are naive like me, you have probably told them already and now you are screwed.
- The politicians: If loyalty is a quality important to you, then these are the people you should stay away from. Their ability to switch camps will put politicians to shame. When you think you can depend on them to support you in your time of need, you will suddenly see them sharing a Watsapp group with your enemies (I couldn't find a less dramatic word for enemies... just means people you are not very fond of). So how do you deal with them? Well, loyalty is not a quality everyone deserves so the only thing you can do is to not expect it from them and reserve it for people who will reciprocate.
- The Unpleasable (yes I made up a word): I used to be the kind of idealistic person who believed that people are mostly good inside and if we don't like them, it probably means we are not looking properly. However, experiences with different kinds of people made me realize that there are some people who will not be good to you no matter what you do for them. There are some people who will always be jealous and unappreciative of you even if you think the best about them. Once you accept this, there is a simple way of dealing with them. Simply stop trying to please and go on with living your life. This was a hard lesson for me to learn because I usually just try to please people making myself miserable in the process.
- The villains: Just like Gabbar and Thakur knew they were each others' enemies (sorry for the Bollywood reference), there will be people in your life that you just don't like and who don't like you. The reasons might be varied and trying to resolve differences might not have worked but there is no point in dwelling over these people. They are always going to bring negativity into your lives and make you spend pointless hours blaming yourself. On the bright side, there is no need to pretend that you like them and that saves you the effort of trying to be nice to them. The simple way to deal with them is to remove them as far as possible from your life. No I don't mean kill them (even if you want to). Just accept that they are somewhere out there in the world and if they try to mess up your life, then its revenge time!
- The lost ones: They are the ones who used to be positive factors in our lives but for some reason no longer hold that space. These include friends we are no longer friends with, ex boyfriends and girlfriends, people we had unresolved fights with... the list goes on. Thinking about things which did not work out always brings negativity and feelings of hatred. Dealing with these kind of people are tricky because there are two ways to go. If something can be resolved, make the effort of resolving it. It is always better to save a relationship which can be saved. Second way is to let go of the relationships and people which cannot be mended. Hating is not letting go, when you let go, you accept that things did not work out and be at peace with it. Choose which way to go wisely!
I won't list any more because this piece is making me depressed as I realize that I have met at least one person belonging to each category. So yes, there are or have been some negative people in my life but there are also many many people who bring positive energy whenever I talk to them. And they are the people I try to keep close. Ending this piece on a happy note and to the folks reading this... You have been warned!
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