The SATC effect... !

This article is based on one of my favorite shows of all time... Sex and the City. For the uninitiated, this is an American television series aired in the 90's and it is about four female New Yorkers who gossip about their love (and sex) lives and find new ways to deal with being a woman in the 90s.

When the show used to air, I was a school-girl and I remember catching random episodes of it on HBO while flicking through channels. The bold depiction of sex and nudity on television was a big deal for me at a time when we were mostly alternating between animation and Hindi serials. After going to college, I had a chance to watch the complete series (it had ended airing by then) and I have always been attracted to it.

For a girl growing up in India, a life as depicted in SATC was like an alternate universe. By Indian standards, I grew up in a fairly liberal family where partying/drinking/having a boyfriend was not frowned upon (as long as it was within limits). But the world of Carrie Bradshaw was a different universe altogether. The fashion, the lifestyle and the relationships depicted were something that I wanted (and as I discovered later, so did many of my girlfriends). I longed to have a carefree and bustling social life where every evening was a party and every day was an opportunity to meet Prince Charming. The series made me want to stay in New York city and be "one of the girls".

Now I know that it is only a work of fiction and life is not all strutting down Fifth Avenue but I still enjoy watching a random episode and escaping into its alternate world. And over the years, here are a few things that SATC taught me:

1. Carrie taught me that it is worth waiting for "Mr. Big". Sure it may take years and many heartbreaks but the final payoff is worth it. Anyone else is just settling. It may seem like a difficult and tiring task and you might want to take an easy option out, but it will not be the same thing. Of course she is known as a fashion icon and she was one of my earliest inspirations for wanting to be a fashion designer.
2. Charlotte taught me the importance of compromising when you know someone is right for you. Changing your religion for somebody is a big deal and she proved that love is a bigger deal. She also taught me that some dreams cannot be given up for anyone and when you realize that, you have to make a hard choice.
3. Miranda taught me that career is as important as relationships and being a woman does not mean you have to automatically focus less on your career. And when it feels right, it is also okay to cut down on your work. Another thing she showed is that sometimes the toughest people are the most vulnerable and it takes the right person to bring out that vulnerability.
4. Samantha taught me being yourself is the most important thing and never to let anyone convince you otherwise. Throughout the series, one thing that never changed was her indomitable confidence and spirit. A lot of time people around us try to convince us that we need to change. But the important thing to realize is that change is not always for the better and we should never stop being ourselves.
5. The most important thing that I learnt from this series is the importance of friendship. It is okay to have three or four close friends... you don't need to be a social butterfly and have a hundred friends. I loved how the girls were always there for each other, sometimes without judgement and sometimes the reality check they needed. So for all the ladies, keep your boyfriends close but your girlfriends closer!

This article is dedicated to my girlfriends, the ones who know all the secrets and have shared my

best and worst times. The ones who might be miles apart but only a phone-call away. 

Love... and all the shades of it

Love... perhaps the most overused and exploited word in this universe. Love in all its shapes, forms and meanings. This post is more about romantic love... the most cliched of all the forms of the word. After all the years of observing love, being in and out of love, discussing about love and so on, I have made a few observations... or "types of love" as I like to call them.

1. The "naive" love... This is typically the first love of a person's life. It's all romance and holding hands and butterflies in the stomach. It is nothing like anything you have felt before and nothing like anything you'll probably feel again. For most people it fades out and even if it lasts a lifetime, it generally goes through periods of breakups and makeups. The most important thing about this is that "first love" is put on a pedestal and nothing is more heartbreaking than watching it fall from the pedestal.

2. The "all-consuming" love... This is one that many people go through and the one that almost tears them apart. It is characterized by letting go of everything else in your life just to give your heart and soul to another person. This kind of passion and fervency usually gives way to two possibilities... either the feeling cools down into a mature relationship, or one person walks away leaving the other brokenhearted and probably a great artist (remember you cannot be a great singer unless you have felt great pain).

3. The "logical" love... It might not seem like the most romantic but it sometimes works out great. This is the kind of love where you weigh pros and cons, think of all the consequences (well maybe not all but you get the gist) and then decide your move. Though I personally believe that relationships cannot be calculated, I have met people who have taken such decisions about their lives. The majority of people who opt for an arranged marriage, go down this route. The decision to love is then intertwined with future prospects, security and family backgrounds.

4.  The "dramatic" love... We all have a friend who was/is in a relationship like this. It has high-octane drama, incredible highs and lows and you could probably watch it with a tub of popcorn (if you are not involved of course). It is usually between people of completely different natures where the attraction is great and so is the friction. On a good day, it is so good that you could be high on it and it could all go down to the depths of misery on the very next day. With the amount of energy required, can anyone sustain this kind of a relationship?

5. The "one-sided" love... This is so common that it should have a book on it (oh wait! it does). All those nights spent awake trying to profess it and all those days spent crying because you were refused. One-sided love is something each one of us has gone through in varying degrees. We all have that one person we could never be with for various reasons. Ironically, if we had indeed managed to get into a relationship with that person, it would have probably fizzled out or we would have soon realized that the person was not even worth it. The best part is that we will never know...

6. The "toxic" love... Is this even love? The only reason I mention it as a category is because I have seen it too many times. This is the kind of relationship which maybe had some semblance of love at the beginning but has now mostly been reduced to a abusive, painful mess. Where is the love when a person feels the need to cheat? Where is the love when you spend most of your days crying? The reason it is scary is because people try to hold on to these kind of relationships... trying to justify wasting more days of their lives on it.

7. The "casual" love... The one which is just there so you try it. This happens a lot between friends who get into it mostly as a casual past time. If both the partners are involved to the same degree, this can be a very feel-good relationship as you already love spending time with each other. Sometimes it ends up in a more romantic relationship and everything works out great. But on the flip-side, if one person gets more involved while the other is still casual, this can blow up and it would mean losing a close friend.

8. The "perfect" love... Despite all the categorizing, when love happens all bets are off and that is the way it should be. And when the person is right for you, it will automatically be the "perfect" love... a category of its own which cannot be described because it will be unique to you :)  

Fun with Yoga... a new experience

I am a person who has never been too inclined towards physical activities. I do try to spend a few hours at the gym every week but unfortunately end up sacrificing it for a new book or an hour more of Game of Thrones. The lack of motivation is not because I undermine the need for physical exercise but because gym seems very monotonous to me. If a person is not a "gym buff", it can be boring at times. So I have mostly blamed my lack of exercise on the fact that office days are busy, too much of work and so on. After moving to Florida, I have been relatively free and so I have been working out more (no more excuses you see).

When I got an opportunity to join Yoga classes, I jumped at the idea. It would mean learning a new form of exercise and a break from the monotony of gym. The form of yoga that I was going to learn was "Hot Yoga". The name itself sounded interesting (with some double-meanings) but I wondered what "Hot Yoga" really was. A quick internet search gave me the answer... "Hot Yoga" refers to yoga exercises performed under hot and humid conditions. Heat is said to increase flexibility in the body and "Hot Yoga" seeks to replicate heat and humidity of India where yoga has originated.

The neighborhood classes that I was planning to take taught the form "Vinyasa" which is one of the popular forms of "Hot Yoga". The word Vinyasa comes from the Sanskrit word "Vi" meaning "in a special way" and "nyasa" meaning "to place". One common definition of "Vinyasa" is "linking breath with movement" or as my instructor explained during my first class... "flowing like water to music".

Before I started my classes, I realized that "Hot Yoga" required special hot yoga mats which absorbed sweat (the heat facilitated the sweating). However, as I already had a regular yoga mat, the instructor said I could cover it with a towel and roll with it! So with a lot of excitement, I went for my first class.

The first class was an eye-opener and mostly a mess. I realized that the first hurdle to overcome was the extreme heat and sweating. Thankfully I come from a hot and humid place (thanks Kolkata!) so my body got accustomed to the heat quite fast. The class was a mixed group of people comprising of mostly advanced students (who practice yoga as part of their lifestyle). The dimly-lit hall, the music and the heat all contributed to make it an unique atmosphere. The hour and half long session was a continuous flow of movements and postures and my first class was pretty much copying the others and trying to learn the postures. At the end of the class, I was thoroughly wiped out but my instructor encouraged me saying that most people are not able to complete the whole duration of the class on their first day so yayy!

From the second class onward, my instructor explained that I was trying to learn all the postures in a hurry and to only concentrate on the simple movements in the beginning. So I started to relax and actually enjoyed learning the movements. I began to experience the heat cleansing my toxins, the smell of the essential oils mixed in the heat and the beautiful flowing movements. "Hot Yoga" when done properly, is extremely refreshing (all that sweating) and gives you a sense of peace and relaxation. One line which caught my attention everyday was "leave you external troubles and thoughts outside the class and remember that these 90 minutes are just for you".

By the end of two weeks, I was able to "feel" the body the flowing from one posture to the next. I plan to continue practicing it and hopefully incorporate it into my daily routine. Of course, the head-stands and hand-stands are still a long way off but you got to start somewhere!

There are a few things I observed about yoga:

1. The best time to start practicing yoga is at an young age and make it part of your lifestyle (like the morning tea). The body is more flexible and it is infinitely easier to stand on your head then (I think).
2. My class was comprised of all non-Indian young people and they were all very advanced. Which makes it ironic that this is something that originated in our country but people (by this I mean masses) have still not embraced it enough whereas people here have made it a part of their daily routine.
3. My instructors (they were rotated during a week) always stressed on one point - yoga is about your body and only do what feels good to you. They encouraged us to go ahead and try our own routines or skip routines if we did not feel like doing it. It was almost like a friendly session as opposed to a strict student-teacher environment.
4.  Western countries have really stylized yoga. The amount of fashionable clothes that I saw in the yoga studio was amazing. When I tried to learn yoga during my school days, my instructor used to be a salwar-clad lady and she still managed her postures! Now we have entire sections of Yoga clothes/ mats/ paraphernalia and it is important to dress the part.

In conclusion, give yoga... any form of yoga a try. It might not become a lifestyle for many of us, but it is definitely something worth investing time and effort into. Maybe it will transform your life or maybe it won't but the hour that you spend doing it will be completely for your mind and body.