Love... perhaps the most overused and exploited word in this universe. Love in all its shapes, forms and meanings. This post is more about romantic love... the most cliched of all the forms of the word. After all the years of observing love, being in and out of love, discussing about love and so on, I have made a few observations... or "types of love" as I like to call them.
1. The "naive" love... This is typically the first love of a person's life. It's all romance and holding hands and butterflies in the stomach. It is nothing like anything you have felt before and nothing like anything you'll probably feel again. For most people it fades out and even if it lasts a lifetime, it generally goes through periods of breakups and makeups. The most important thing about this is that "first love" is put on a pedestal and nothing is more heartbreaking than watching it fall from the pedestal.
2. The "all-consuming" love... This is one that many people go through and the one that almost tears them apart. It is characterized by letting go of everything else in your life just to give your heart and soul to another person. This kind of passion and fervency usually gives way to two possibilities... either the feeling cools down into a mature relationship, or one person walks away leaving the other brokenhearted and probably a great artist (remember you cannot be a great singer unless you have felt great pain).
3. The "logical" love... It might not seem like the most romantic but it sometimes works out great. This is the kind of love where you weigh pros and cons, think of all the consequences (well maybe not all but you get the gist) and then decide your move. Though I personally believe that relationships cannot be calculated, I have met people who have taken such decisions about their lives. The majority of people who opt for an arranged marriage, go down this route. The decision to love is then intertwined with future prospects, security and family backgrounds.
4. The "dramatic" love... We all have a friend who was/is in a relationship like this. It has high-octane drama, incredible highs and lows and you could probably watch it with a tub of popcorn (if you are not involved of course). It is usually between people of completely different natures where the attraction is great and so is the friction. On a good day, it is so good that you could be high on it and it could all go down to the depths of misery on the very next day. With the amount of energy required, can anyone sustain this kind of a relationship?
5. The "one-sided" love... This is so common that it should have a book on it (oh wait! it does). All those nights spent awake trying to profess it and all those days spent crying because you were refused. One-sided love is something each one of us has gone through in varying degrees. We all have that one person we could never be with for various reasons. Ironically, if we had indeed managed to get into a relationship with that person, it would have probably fizzled out or we would have soon realized that the person was not even worth it. The best part is that we will never know...
6. The "toxic" love... Is this even love? The only reason I mention it as a category is because I have seen it too many times. This is the kind of relationship which maybe had some semblance of love at the beginning but has now mostly been reduced to a abusive, painful mess. Where is the love when a person feels the need to cheat? Where is the love when you spend most of your days crying? The reason it is scary is because people try to hold on to these kind of relationships... trying to justify wasting more days of their lives on it.
7. The "casual" love... The one which is just there so you try it. This happens a lot between friends who get into it mostly as a casual past time. If both the partners are involved to the same degree, this can be a very feel-good relationship as you already love spending time with each other. Sometimes it ends up in a more romantic relationship and everything works out great. But on the flip-side, if one person gets more involved while the other is still casual, this can blow up and it would mean losing a close friend.
8. The "perfect" love... Despite all the categorizing, when love happens all bets are off and that is the way it should be. And when the person is right for you, it will automatically be the "perfect" love... a category of its own which cannot be described because it will be unique to you :)
1. The "naive" love... This is typically the first love of a person's life. It's all romance and holding hands and butterflies in the stomach. It is nothing like anything you have felt before and nothing like anything you'll probably feel again. For most people it fades out and even if it lasts a lifetime, it generally goes through periods of breakups and makeups. The most important thing about this is that "first love" is put on a pedestal and nothing is more heartbreaking than watching it fall from the pedestal.
2. The "all-consuming" love... This is one that many people go through and the one that almost tears them apart. It is characterized by letting go of everything else in your life just to give your heart and soul to another person. This kind of passion and fervency usually gives way to two possibilities... either the feeling cools down into a mature relationship, or one person walks away leaving the other brokenhearted and probably a great artist (remember you cannot be a great singer unless you have felt great pain).
3. The "logical" love... It might not seem like the most romantic but it sometimes works out great. This is the kind of love where you weigh pros and cons, think of all the consequences (well maybe not all but you get the gist) and then decide your move. Though I personally believe that relationships cannot be calculated, I have met people who have taken such decisions about their lives. The majority of people who opt for an arranged marriage, go down this route. The decision to love is then intertwined with future prospects, security and family backgrounds.
4. The "dramatic" love... We all have a friend who was/is in a relationship like this. It has high-octane drama, incredible highs and lows and you could probably watch it with a tub of popcorn (if you are not involved of course). It is usually between people of completely different natures where the attraction is great and so is the friction. On a good day, it is so good that you could be high on it and it could all go down to the depths of misery on the very next day. With the amount of energy required, can anyone sustain this kind of a relationship?
5. The "one-sided" love... This is so common that it should have a book on it (oh wait! it does). All those nights spent awake trying to profess it and all those days spent crying because you were refused. One-sided love is something each one of us has gone through in varying degrees. We all have that one person we could never be with for various reasons. Ironically, if we had indeed managed to get into a relationship with that person, it would have probably fizzled out or we would have soon realized that the person was not even worth it. The best part is that we will never know...
6. The "toxic" love... Is this even love? The only reason I mention it as a category is because I have seen it too many times. This is the kind of relationship which maybe had some semblance of love at the beginning but has now mostly been reduced to a abusive, painful mess. Where is the love when a person feels the need to cheat? Where is the love when you spend most of your days crying? The reason it is scary is because people try to hold on to these kind of relationships... trying to justify wasting more days of their lives on it.
7. The "casual" love... The one which is just there so you try it. This happens a lot between friends who get into it mostly as a casual past time. If both the partners are involved to the same degree, this can be a very feel-good relationship as you already love spending time with each other. Sometimes it ends up in a more romantic relationship and everything works out great. But on the flip-side, if one person gets more involved while the other is still casual, this can blow up and it would mean losing a close friend.
8. The "perfect" love... Despite all the categorizing, when love happens all bets are off and that is the way it should be. And when the person is right for you, it will automatically be the "perfect" love... a category of its own which cannot be described because it will be unique to you :)
I could feel myself matching all the guys we've known, loved (and hated!) against this and I was nodding all the way! Great job categorising!
ReplyDeletePS: toxic love ta ki a nod to SATC?!