The Importance of Celebrations!

Why should we celebrate? Be it birthdays or graduations, religious festivals, marriages… it is important that we celebrate these days with family, close friends, people who would understand the value of the occasion and share it with us. Even if it is not a significant occasion… Celebrate it! In fact I would advocate celebrating even insignificant, silly moments like the time when the person you had a crush on smiled at you in the elevator or the fact that you managed to catch the bus on time… or that Game of Thrones Season 6 is back this weekend (yes, that one’s a biggie). Whatever your reason may be… enjoy that moment of happiness, share it with someone you love. Heck… share it with a stranger!

Why? Life is unpredictable and great at reminding you about the things you didn’t do. While we get caught up in everyday struggles, while we wait impatiently for a big event to occur, while we worry and fret that things are not working out… all the little moments that we could have been celebrating slip by us. Just imagine going home after a long day at work and sitting down to dinner with your family… if you are lucky enough to do that, you have a reason to celebrate because not everyone can do it (I can’t coz my family is miles away). We waste time worrying about that long day at office when we could be cooking a special meal and just enjoying that meal with our family. Believe me, you’ll soon see that there is no place or time needed to celebrate life. It’s there, happening as we speak.

We all look forward to certain events in the year… I do too! When I get the New Year calendar, the first thing I do is mark all the occasions… the birthdays, the anniversaries and so on… The other thing I do is check the dates for the Indian festivals… Since our festivals follow a different calendar, the corresponding dates on the English calendar changes each year.

Out of the many festivals that we Indians love to celebrate, my favorite is Durga Puja which is the 5-day worship of Goddess Durga in autumn. Without going into too much history, let me tell you why it is celebrated. Durga Puja festival marks the victory of Goddess Durga over the evil buffalo demon who wreaked havoc on the entire world and who could not be defeated by any God or man. The festival marks the victory of good over evil. In the eastern part of India, where I come from, this festival is celebrated on a huge scale with thousands of people flocking to the areas of worship.

Every year, no matter where I am, I try to go back to my hometown and be with my family during this time of the year. It’s not an easy feat I tell you… ticket prices are sky-high, leaves are not approved, managers decide that it would be the perfect way to torture you (no offence to managers here)… but in spite of all the roadblocks… we try to make it home during these five days. When we were in college, we would often have to jump on an overnight train without any reservation, spend the night sharing a single berth with three other friends just to make it home in time for the festival. We didn’t do it because we were particularly religious, we just knew that… that was one time in the entire year when everyone would be home no matter where they were, we would all keep aside other worries and celebrate these five days with friends and family.

It may sound like a cliché, but life really is too short to miss out on any opportunity to celebrate. Sometimes it requires a little more effort, maybe a little time out of our schedules… but it is worth it.

Journey song (a poem)

So let's start our journey...
On open roads... With an open heart...
And forget our destination...
Throw away the maps... Its a new start...

Take a wrong turn... And end up somewhere lost...
Stop and look at the flowers by the bend...
Listen to the forgotten bird singing alone...
Forget where the road was supposed to end... 

Watch the golden sunset and touch the cold river...

Don't worry that you've lost your way...
The skies have forgotten your laughter...
Let them hear you laugh today...

You've played by all the rules and plans...
But never seen your destiny in the stars undone...
See how they sparkle with promises made...
And wake up kissed by the morning sun...

But most of all love... 

Love like you've never been hurt...

Love like that's all you're capable of...
Love like it's your last day on earth...

Tomorrow you may go back to your world...
Where duties devour you eagerly each day...
So pack your bags and open your heart...
Let's get a little lost today...

P.S. I wrote this on the bus when we were travelling to see the Grand Canyon... it was a long road and gave me a lot of time to think. I was going through some worrying times (when is it not!) and it helped me gain a little perspective... 

The importance of girls' trips...

This one is for every girl out there... No matter where you are, every once in a while you should go for an all-girls trip! It is always fun to go somewhere with your family or with your partner, but there is something liberating about being on a trip with girls. Sharing rooms, sharing makeup and clothes, sharing gossip... there is a lot that happens when girls travel together. Last weekend I went on an all-girls trip to Washington DC... after more than a year... and it reminded me of why it is important to go on such trips once in a while.

This brings me to one of the coolest all-girls trip that I ever went on... a long-awaited trip to the awesome beaches of Goa! We had been planning the trip for years and it never seemed to work out until the time we just went ahead and booked our tickets... and threw caution to the winds. At the time the four of us were staying in four different cities which made the meeting up all the more exciting. But the best thing about that trip was that we had been at a low point in our individual lives and in those four days, we left all our worries and negativity somewhere far behind. There is something freeing about the sea and the waves... it makes you want to let go. And that's exactly what we did. We let go of our phone addiction, social networks, the need to always be "online" and gave in to the simple joys of life like walking on the beach, watching the sun set, frolicking among the waves, lying in shacks and eating great food... Of course it was a perfect vacation to have those long conversations without agendas, silences that did not need to be filled by words, just watching the sea as it constantly ebbed and flowed... Then there was all the craziness... the first night of thinking maybe an all-girls trip wasn't the safest of ideas, then starting the next day with renewed energy and reminding ourselves why it was the best idea ever, being tourists during the scorching day and then those beautiful evenings languidly stretching into the wee hours of the morning... The best journey is one which you wish doesn't end and that is what this trip was...

We were enjoying so much, we didn't even take a proper photo together!

So yes, once in a while, grab your besties and set off on an amazing journey. A journey where you can be free because you are with people you can be yourself with. A journey which will be significant to all of you. Leave behind your busy lives and be in the moment. Have those long talks which otherwise are confined to Watsapp and rare phone calls. I guarantee you that it would be experience that you would cherish forever. 

Goals and failures... and looking ahead...

Sometimes I think about goals...And how to achieve them. I am the kind of person who prefers to have short-term goals rather than long-term ones... I admire people who have the ability to clearly visualize what they want in life but I am not one of those people. If I am asked what I want to do in life... I am always thrown for a loop. I suppose what I want is to have a happy and fulfilling life but that just sounds so random. There is no guarantee that life will be happy... and of course there would be times when life would be a disaster so that goal just sounds fake and implausible. As for fulfilling... I guess that makes sense for people who have figured out exactly what makes them tick. As for me... here I am standing on the edge of 30 and I'm not certain what would make my life fulfilling.

Its strange because as a kid if somebody asked what I wanted to do in life... my instant response would be "I want to be a teacher". Of course the "teacher" would be interchangeable with many other professions depending on my current obsession. I guess that is what led to all the confusion and I ended up doing exactly what the majority of students in  India do... engineering. It helped that I was very interested in Computer Science and also that I am a master of short-term goals (a little exaggeration never hurts!). At that time my goal was to do well in class and I succeeded in it. But when it came to a long term vision for my life, I was still undecided. When companies came to interview at our college placement, my immediate goal was to get a job. I followed the flock to an IT company and again, concentrated on short term tasks without a clue about where I was going with this. When my work became monotonous, I again set myself the goal of getting a new job. It was tough but I managed to do it, concentrating on immediate gains and not what would be a defined life goal. Life continued until I quit that job and was faced with an uncertain future. For the first time, I had to decide whether I wanted to continue my career or take a break. Well... the word "decide" is open to debate... I left it to fate and hoped for the best! Finally, I started working again... and even though my goals are still very short-term, I am beginning to get a clearer idea of what I would want to do some years down the line. Maybe that short break, scary as it was, opened me up to other options apart from the one I had always pursued. Maybe I am finally growing up?

Relationship goals are even tougher to pursue. I love easily and frequently and it has led me down the road to heartbreak many times in the past. Not just in romantic relationships, I have had the same experience in all my relationships. Of course, I have also hit the jackpot many times! Since I am reflecting on goals, I don't know what personal goals are set by people who seem to have amazing relationships in their life. As a fairly introverted person, I find it difficult to express feelings even if they are present in me. Somewhere that inability to express gets misconstrued as aloofness, rudeness and leads to misunderstandings. I doubt if my goal has ever been to hurt people intentionally but because I often miss the bigger picture, I'm sure it has happened a few times. But the thing I can say with absolute certainty is this - if I have been faced with a choice between relationships and anything else, I have always chosen relationships. Sometimes with disastrous results, sometimes as a blessing in disguise. In the process of acknowledging my failure at setting long-term personal goals, I am striving to identify things I have been doing wrong, actions that could be misunderstood. Growing up makes us more open to criticism and being able to look at mistakes without romanticizing them.

Of course, I will still continue to set my short-term goals and work towards fulfilling them but the one thing I would do differently is keep my mind open for what I want in the long run. It may or may not be a successful exercise, but that is something we'll just have to wait and see!