So this blog is about "Gossiping" and no... I will not be spreading any! Being a woman, I am aware that the art (or crime) of gossiping is often attributed to women and that is complete nonsense. Women gossip, so do men... In fact anyone who claims they have never spoken about another person behind their back is basically lying. As for me, I have been (and continue to be) both at the beginning and at the receiving end of gossip. Am I the most discreet person? Of course not! My friends would tell you how many secrets I have given away! But like anything, this game also has rules which when broken, leads to mayhem.
The beginning of this vicious (and entertaining) cycle of gossiping began in my school days. I studied in an all-girls school and experienced first-hand the power of gossip. From remarkable stories concocted over lunch breaks to harmless tit-bits of information shared during class... from scandalous rumors spread in whispers to mean lies made up by jealous rivals... we gossiped about everything in our lives. Girls would spend hours huddled in groups discussing whether "did she really skip school to meet her boyfriend?" or the more innocent "is she really taking tutions from that teacher? No wonder her marks are high!"... gossip could be anything!
So this brings us to the first rule of gossip... "If you are gossiping in multiple groups, make sure you are not sharing gossip from one group to the other". I have to say I flouted this rule many times but I have awesome friends (and the information was fairly minor) and did not face any serious consequence!
The next phase of my life saw me in a girls' hostel where gossiping was not only confined to classroom hours but stretched into the wee hours of the morning. Also, it had become meaner and more scandalous and the innocence was going out of it. I also realized that men were equally interested in gossip and contributed to it... they were just discreet about it where we ladies were too open! Now I am a firm believer that when you gossip about someone... be prepared that someone somewhere is gossiping about you. Over the years I had heard some pretty interesting (though untrue) stuff about myself which is only fair. But where do you draw the line?
That is the next rule... "You cannot gossip about members of your circle to others outside it". Meaning, that you should have a few friends about whom you never ever gossip because then it just gets messy. I learnt this lesson the hard way when a close friend gossiped about me to random people in the college to the extent that strangers knew detailed descriptions of my private life.
Next came the workplace. Now gossiping meant office politics and wrong rumors could mean hampering a person's career. You may think this is stretching it a bit far but then, even managers are humans who sometimes judge you solely based on what they hear about you. Office gossip can be extremely harmful and I mostly tried to stay out of it. But there were times when I succumbed to it and honestly speaking I still don't know whether it lead to any harm!
However, this leads to the third rule... "Choose who you gossip with very wisely". This is applicable in every phase of life but while rumors of your drinking habits made you popular in college, it certainly would not win you points with your boss!
So now I am in a new phase of life... the housewife phase. What I realized very soon is that ladies left to their own devices all day is a dangerous starting point of gossip. The first few months all I heard was gossip... about people I was meeting for the first time, people I had not even met, people who did not even know of my existence... phew! It was tiring and slowly I realized that all the fun I had derived out of gossiping was not there any more. This happened when I heard something derogatory about a lady (without meeting her) and believed it only to understand later that it wasn't even true.
This makes me think of the golden rule of gossip... "Not all gossip is true" and also a quote I heard "Gossip needn't be false to be evil - there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around".
Of course there will still be times when I gossip but after all the experiences, I will be wiser about it. And learn to follow the rules more!
The beginning of this vicious (and entertaining) cycle of gossiping began in my school days. I studied in an all-girls school and experienced first-hand the power of gossip. From remarkable stories concocted over lunch breaks to harmless tit-bits of information shared during class... from scandalous rumors spread in whispers to mean lies made up by jealous rivals... we gossiped about everything in our lives. Girls would spend hours huddled in groups discussing whether "did she really skip school to meet her boyfriend?" or the more innocent "is she really taking tutions from that teacher? No wonder her marks are high!"... gossip could be anything!
So this brings us to the first rule of gossip... "If you are gossiping in multiple groups, make sure you are not sharing gossip from one group to the other". I have to say I flouted this rule many times but I have awesome friends (and the information was fairly minor) and did not face any serious consequence!
The next phase of my life saw me in a girls' hostel where gossiping was not only confined to classroom hours but stretched into the wee hours of the morning. Also, it had become meaner and more scandalous and the innocence was going out of it. I also realized that men were equally interested in gossip and contributed to it... they were just discreet about it where we ladies were too open! Now I am a firm believer that when you gossip about someone... be prepared that someone somewhere is gossiping about you. Over the years I had heard some pretty interesting (though untrue) stuff about myself which is only fair. But where do you draw the line?
That is the next rule... "You cannot gossip about members of your circle to others outside it". Meaning, that you should have a few friends about whom you never ever gossip because then it just gets messy. I learnt this lesson the hard way when a close friend gossiped about me to random people in the college to the extent that strangers knew detailed descriptions of my private life.
Next came the workplace. Now gossiping meant office politics and wrong rumors could mean hampering a person's career. You may think this is stretching it a bit far but then, even managers are humans who sometimes judge you solely based on what they hear about you. Office gossip can be extremely harmful and I mostly tried to stay out of it. But there were times when I succumbed to it and honestly speaking I still don't know whether it lead to any harm!
However, this leads to the third rule... "Choose who you gossip with very wisely". This is applicable in every phase of life but while rumors of your drinking habits made you popular in college, it certainly would not win you points with your boss!
So now I am in a new phase of life... the housewife phase. What I realized very soon is that ladies left to their own devices all day is a dangerous starting point of gossip. The first few months all I heard was gossip... about people I was meeting for the first time, people I had not even met, people who did not even know of my existence... phew! It was tiring and slowly I realized that all the fun I had derived out of gossiping was not there any more. This happened when I heard something derogatory about a lady (without meeting her) and believed it only to understand later that it wasn't even true.
This makes me think of the golden rule of gossip... "Not all gossip is true" and also a quote I heard "Gossip needn't be false to be evil - there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around".
Of course there will still be times when I gossip but after all the experiences, I will be wiser about it. And learn to follow the rules more!
So true! :-)
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