When the going gets tough...

When life springs surprises, there is no saying what you'll end up with. It could be good surprise or a nasty one. It may take you to cloud nine or bring you down to your knees. But one thing is certain... when the going gets tough, the tough get going! Before you start wondering what this is all about, let me give you the complete backstory.

About a year ago, when I left my homeland and came to the United States, I was a dependent on my husband. I was one of the countless Indian women who come to the States with their spouse and who cannot be employed here because they don't have a work visa. For someone who had started working straight out of college and never imagined a day when she would be unemployed, it was a life-altering situation. Suddenly the routine that had dictated my life... waking up, getting ready, commuting to office, dealing with the work for the day, coming back home after good and bad days at office and reacting accordingly... was not there anymore. The first few weeks were like an extended vacation... the first one in 5 years and I enjoyed them thoroughly with my husband. Having just got married, it was a honeymoon period in a perfect location. And then that period started feeling stale. As far as I could see, endless free days stretched ahead. But far from feeling free, what I was feeling was scared and listless. The days started getting longer and there seemed to be an emptiness within me which no amount of Game of Thrones or reruns of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. could fill. I'm sure its a familiar feeling felt by many people who have had to give up working for various reasons. Even if the reasons are strong, it sometimes feels frivolous. But this piece is about how to be stronger than your worries. So instead of whiling away days, I started looking for ways to fill them meaningfully. I rediscovered sketching... something I had not touched for years. I met people who encouraged me to create crafts and learn new things like crochet. I joined the local library and read to my heart's content. I restarted my old blog and sharing pieces with my friends... something that I had missed doing for years. Instead of viewing cooking as an arduous task, I started experimenting with new recipes and different kinds of items (often with disastrous results). Swimming is another thing that I tried to learn during this time. I even started self-learning to play the piano app on my iPhone by looking up notes on the internet. There were times when I felt lonely and depressed... when people who I considered friends turned against me. I tried to focus myself by joining Yoga classes. The point is, I realized that I had been gifted valuable time to broaden my horizons instead of whining about what I couldn't have. Once I realized this, there was no looking back.

Wearing crochet hats that I made...

And then came another change in my life... my work permit was approved and I got a job... something I had been desperately waiting for. Suddenly my life was turned upside down because the job I got was in a different state far away from Florida. Within a week I was supposed to uproot my life, leave my husband back home and move to Connecticut. As if the pain of separation was not enough, I would be leaving the sunshine state and moving to a snow-covered one to live with complete strangers. For a person who does't even drive, it was a terrifying feeling. It was almost so surreal that even while I was packing, I was having a hard time believing it. Looking around the apartment that we had made our first home after marriage, I broke down many times. The thought of not waking up next to my husband everyday was so scary that it made me want not to go. But every time I felt weak, I reminded myself that I had desperately been wanting to work and had finally been given the chance. A chance that not everyone gets. So when the day came when I had to wave goodbye to my husband as he left for Florida, I was determined to face each day with a smile and count my blessings that I had been given the chance to work and continue my career. So I moved into an apartment with three other girls and started a new phase of life. So far I have experienced a snow shower, managed to get lost on the way to the train-station and missing my husband like crazy. There will be days when I will wish things were different, but its still a chance I would take.

First day outside my office...

What scares us most is changing what is familiar. When faced with an unfamiliar territory, it is difficult to let go of what makes us comfortable and go down a new path. If only we can let go of the fear of the unknown, there could be great things waiting for us. So yes, the going does get tough sometimes but those are the times when the tough have to get going!