A tale of Courage...

I could never have done many things in my life without being inspired by all of you and by the people around me. Inspiration is what motivates us to push ourselves beyond our comfort zone towards greater things. That is why today, I will tell you the story of a man who has been the biggest inspiration in my life.

This young man was born in a village in Bangladesh.... Well at the time of his birth, it was a part of the Bengal province in India. After the partition of India and the death of Mahatma Gandhi, he was forced to flee his home, leave everything he had behind and come to West Bengal in India to avoid communal riots and police harassment. Living in abject poverty in the city of Calcutta, he still managed to complete his education and started working as a freelance journalist. A lot of struggles followed – both professional and personal but he persevered. By the time I knew him, he was the editor of the largest Bengali newspaper and had established himself as an eminent writer with more than thirty published books. On the personal front, he had a family who loved and admired him. 

I know what you are thinking, it’s a nice story but what has it got to do with us? Well, this young man was my grandfather or “Dadu” as we say in Bengali and he has managed to inspire me in almost every sphere of life. I really tried to condense this down to one learning but then I thought, maybe there is something in each aspect of his life that will inspire some of you.

Courage in adversity: Imagine having to leave behind your home, people you grew up with and everything you have, because you and your family would probably die if you didn’t leave. It takes a lot of courage and perseverance to start from scratch and still achieve your dreams. Dadu started out as a tutor to young kids while he struggled to complete his higher education. For years afterwards he worked as a freelance journalist before finally tasting success. In his personal life too, he faced the immense challenge of losing his only son at a very young age. I never heard him discuss the incident but he honored his son's memory by setting up a charitable foundation to provide monetary support to children who needed it - here he is at a foundation event. Taking life’s challenges and dealing with them is something that he has inspired me to try and do in my life. 

Love conquers all: At a time when love marriages were unheard of (it’s still frowned upon in our country) my grandfather fell in love and eloped with my grandma. They were teenagers, he had no money, she belonged to an affluent family, her family was out to get him, he told us how he had to bring her to an apartment which he shared with his friends... the odds were heavily stacked against them and yet, they spent the rest of their lives together. He wouldn’t have managed to be successful without her support and he made sure everyone knew it. They passed away within five months of each other and I always felt that they never really learned to live without one another. Now that’s the kind of everlasting love that I aspire to have. And here my husband does not even let me change TV channels.

Do what you love: In India, parents see their newborn baby and the first thing they say is “He is going to be an engineer” or “she is going to be a doctor”. And their fate is sealed. But my grandfather believed that you should do what you love and love what you do. He spent his life writing which he loved. He inspired my younger sister to give up science subjects in high school and pursue her love
for literature. Everyone told her not to, they told her “it’s a bad decision and you’re giving up lucrative careers” but she stuck to her guns and said “I want to be a writer like Dadu”. She is
doing very well now and she sucked at Math so it was a great decision all around. More importantly, he inspired her to recognize her strengths and weaknesses and make the right choice.

Read and read more: Every gift that Dadu has given us has been books. Since the time we learned to read, he has never gifted us anything else. He also did not believe in censoring books because he said... “Only when you read everything, that’s when you’ll be able to decide what you like to read”. Once on my thirteenth birthday, he gifted me a couple of Mills and Boon romances. For those of you who don’t know, this is how a typical MB cover looks like. My dad was too embarrassed to even take them away so I went through a phase when I only read these. Thanks Dadu. He was an avid reader himself and slowly built up his personal library. He collected and read a lot of rare, sometimes banned books and reading is something that he has definitely inspired me to do. 

Be curious: My grandfather had a childlike curiosity about everything. Every day he would spend about two hours with his newspapers... reading them cover to cover. In the evening, he would catch hold of us and ask us questions – if we answered correctly he would give us one rupee. I used to be terrified because I could never remember what I read. I used to see my friends go to their grandfathers for love and chocolates and I would say... “What’s his deal? Why is he torturing us?” But I realized later that he was teaching us to be curious about everything. He would watch television with us and tell us tidbits of gossip, we could have political debates one moment and then discuss our crushes the next, he was totally up to date with everything . I try to be curious and eager to learn all the time so if I seem over-enthusiastic at times, you now know whom to blame.

So these were a few of the things that my grandfather has taught me in life. He was not perfect in any way but he took the struggles life handed out and turned them into successes. I miss him, I miss the little things he taught us... making up poems while out on evening walks, laughing at ourselves and always giving our best. He continues to inspire us and I hope he was able to inspire a few of you, he would have loved that!